You Really Can Be Happy After Divorce
I was in a 23-year relationship and most of what I remember is how much I cried and wanted it to be different. I just knew that if he would change then I would be happy and until then, I was doomed to misery. I stayed….hoping and wishing….and crying. Deep down I knew I was wasting my life force energy waiting for him. My refusal to trust myself only deepened my unhappiness and I lost more of myself each day I stayed in a situation I knew wasn’t for me.
Through coaching many people who were terribly unhappy, I discovered that just about everyone felt that if some “thing” were to change in their world, then they be happy. They thought that if they had a different job, or more money, or a different body, or – like me – a better relationship, then all their troubles would melt away – but they never made the changes they knew they needed to make. They just waited… and let their connection to happiness drift further away – into fear and anxiety and often into depression.
Everyone one only wants a few basic things – being happy is one of them. Being happy after divorce will naturally come when you align your actions with your own truth. When you take the risk of whatever you most fear will happen if you ‘go for it.’ Aligning your inner and outer world takes a whole lot of courage.
Here are 3 things you can do to start the alignment process and be happy after divorce:
- Get Clear: My good friend, Janet Attwood the creator of The Passion Test says, “You will only manifest to the degree you are clear,” and she is 100% right! Take the Passion Test so you know what your priorities really are and you can start making choices to align with what is most important to you.
- Make it About YOU: Whenever you focus on YOU and what is right for YOU, then you will start to make decisions that are right for YOU. Your life will become an authentic expression of you.
- Accept What Is: Acceptance, in its simplest form is the ability to see what is right about your situation. A practice of looking for what is right (instead of what is wrong) will naturally focus your attention to what is working. If you don’t like the circumstances of your life, still find what is right about it. I promise that the Universe is conspiring to love you – even in the difficulty. Resistance pushes away what wants to change in your life so you can be happy.
Another great friend, Marci Shimoff, the author of Happy for No Reason, says happiness is a choice and will get stronger the longer you make that life-affirming decision. I know it’s not always the easiest choice to make when things aren’t (seemingly) going well for you, but it is a muscle worth building. Bring yourself into alignment through becoming clear about what is most important to you, through making decisions that are right for you, and through accepting the truth about your circumstances. Though aligning your actions with what is true on the inside may be uncomfortable, and upset a few apple carts, it is the one thing that you can do to ensure that you are deeply happy from the inside out.