Q&A: Before you file for divorce consider these answers.

My spouse and I are headed toward a divorce besides hiring an investigator to uncover if they are having an affair, is there a reason to hire an investigator?

There are many things that an investigator can help you with at this stage. They may be able to uncover hidden assets or bank accounts or conduct surveillance to reveal spending, which could affect your property settlement. If your spouse is already involved in another relationship, and there are children involved, a background investigation may be beneficial if there is going to be a custody dispute. Or, if your spouse has a drug or alcohol problem, you will need strong evidence for the court, which often only an investigator can obtain through investigation and surveillance.

Can my ex be required to pay the mortgage until it sells?

You will need to get a temporary order from the court. While your ex can be ordered by the court to be responsible for the mortgage payments, if your name is on the loan you will ultimately be responsible in the eyes of the bank. Your ex can be ordered to refinance, but that may be hard to enforce if your ex does not qualify for a mortgage or you owe more than the house is worth.

How do I prepare to be single again now that I’ve decided to file for divorce?

If you’ve decided to file for divorce, as part of the preparation process you should consider joining a gym or doing some other physical activity. The advantages of working out are obvious when you see the physical results, but the other sometimes more important gain is the mental and psychological benefits. The gym or other leisure centers are good places to begin making new friends, especially singles friends who may help you get acclimated to your new marital status after your divorce.

How do I organize all of the collateral related to my divorce?

Your divorce procedure can be really paper-intensive. It appears you’re continually printing, duplicating, and also mailing! One way to arrange all that paper is to utilize a tabbed notebook. A binder makes it easy to bring whatever you need with you when you consult with your attorney or other specialists. You could additionally utilize an accordion data with sections for each group, a portable documents box with hanging documents folders, or a designated drawer in a file cabinet for every little thing pertaining to your separation.

You could check all your hard-copy records and file them electronically. Make use of a naming convention that makes it easy to quickly recognize as well as fetch specifically which version of which document you require.

Back up all of your electronic communications. Save all of the e-mails you send as well as receive concerning your divorce in a marked folder within your email program. Sync text and also voicemail messages with your computer system.

Crucial: archive all of your digital documents on a regular basis, preferably in real-time, as you upgrade them. Save duplicates on a flash drive or CD/DVD and also shop them in a safe place, like a safe deposit box or with a trusted buddy or family member. Particularly crucial is off-site backup. Take into consideration backing your data up with an online cloud backup service provider.

I feel like I am married to a stranger. I am not sure that this person is even someone that I care to know, how did I get here and what do I do?

We all change, but we don’t always change at the same pace or in the same direction. Think about it, if you are not the same person that you were a decade ago when you got married, why should your spouse be? So, the question really becomes are we seeing our spouse for who they really are or for who we want them to be?