Divorce can be a difficult and trying experience, but sometimes it offers opportunities to grow. This is especially true if you take the time to consider why your marriage failed and what role you might have played in its ending. One way to do this is by looking at the “Law of Responsibility” by Debbie Ford. The Law of Responsibility states, “you cannot change anyone else, but you must take responsibility for your part in any situation.” In terms of a divorce, this means understanding that while your partner may have done certain things to lead to the dissolution of your marriage, you also contributed in ways that were important.

Taking responsibility for your actions – even if those actions were simply not paying enough attention or disregarding physical or emotional boundaries – can help you learn from your mistakes and move forward with wisdom and clarity. Yes, it takes effort to admit your own role in the breakdown of the relationship and to forgive yourself, but it’s an important step toward healing and growth. After all, when we acknowledge our responsibility, we can take control of our lives and create better results moving forward.

You might be tempted to blame yourself or your ex-partner for the state of your relationship, but this won’t help you move forward. The Law of Responsibility teaches that taking responsibility for yourself—understanding how your choices led to your present circumstances—will ultimately set you free.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean condoning inappropriate behavior or any type of abuse. Instead, it’s about understanding how powerful you are, and how you created the life you live now. Through accepting and understanding the choices you made, you open up the possibility of consciously creating something new in the future.

When facing a divorce, it is essential to be honest with yourself, even if it means being brutally honest. Doing so will help you identify key choice points in your relationship which will help you begin to heal your heart. As you take responsibility in life, you reclaim your ability to shape your own destiny.